Ok. We all know that life is not rosy all of the time, and we all can appreciate a good bitch session. Heck, I love being able to be brutally honest to my best friends about what has made me mad or gotten me going in the past week. That’s what friends are for. I’m not talking about your friends.
I’m talking about those people. Those freaking people who might either only be kind-of friends, or maybe they are only distant friends that you see randomly at work or at parties, or maybe at events hosted by one of your very good friends. And they ALWAYS find you and spend the time and energy to something to dump on you. It could be their latest child illness drama, or their terrible moving story…. or even complain to you about the event you are both at. You know who I’m talking about… someone’s face just flashed in your head, didn’t it? Uh huh. The Debbie Downers. They make me CRAZY.
(Disclaimer: Many people have many bad things to talk about and a lot of very un-deserved things happen to very good people. I know and appreciate that. I’m only referring to those offenders that abuse the complainer card.)
I have two examples to share, and two ways that I will no longer let these people bring me down:
- When I was 34 (or so) weeks preggers with Lebowski, my office was next to a woman who found a way to be publicly angry about something every single day. Each day, there would be a new issue and a new plot to ‘keep her down,’ and she was loud and proud about it. I’ll never forget one morning: She found me in my office at 7:45 am and started complaining about someone or something that had done her wrong. Really? Already? I’m going to guess that a pissy toddler had woken me up by 5am by either jumping on me or running out into the backyard through the doggie door. I’m also going to guess that my drive to work that day was the most peaceful part of my morning, even though it was in 40 minutes of traffic. She had no clue how much bad ju-ju she was sending in my direction. None whatsoever. She had no regards for how her angry rant might affect my day. All I could think was, “If you are this mad about work by 7:45 am each day, you should either really evaluate if you want to work here, and evaluate how you are affecting your co-workers.” I also determined that if she ever did that again, that I was going to say those exact words. I ended up going into labor before she found me in my office to complain before 8am again. She also found another job while I was on maternity leave. On one hand, Hallelujah. On the other hand- I never spoke up and she is probably still complaining at her new job.
- I co-hosted a baby shower for a dear friend this past weekend, and it ended up being pretty big. We had advertised that kids could come, and we knew there were at least 3 moms bringing the little ones. The mom-to-be, Julie, was very sensitive to other moms and wanted everyone to feel welcome to have their kiddos there. One of the moms arrived, and I braced for the greeting. (She has always been a Debbie Downer around me, and I have always dreaded saying hello to her. Every “How are you?” I offered was usually returned with an “O.K… I guess. Last week I had this terrible cold, and we just lost a staff member, and…” blah blah blah.) So I see her walk in, and I offer a “Hey Sherry! So good to see you. How are you?” And in true fashion, she greets me with, “Well, I’m really bummed actually. Little Karie really wanted to come to this, but we were told distinctly no children. Now I see all these other kids here and I don’t understand. Julie told me herself that there were no kids allowed.” We continued to have a civil conversation consisting of my trying to kindly explain that she must have gotten the wrong information, while she blocked my every attempt with “No- that’s not true. You are wrong.” (At this point, my blood was boiling, but I was unable to slap her across the face at this point in time.) But the worst part??? She had to march straight into the party to find Julie and tell her how mad she was about the whole situation. WHO DOES THAT? Seriously! Who comes into a party to honor a person, and dumps their own personal frustrations about a situation directly on that person trying to enjoy herself (at 36 weeks pregnant)? I was completely flabbergasted, as was poor Julie and her sister- both caught completely off-guard in the middle of beautiful exchanges about fat bellies and baby snuggles. I’m still mad at myself for not pulling Sherry aside at the end of the party and telling her what I really thought. I’m sad that I let her get away with it, because honestly- she should know that there are about 20 people at that party that saw her actions as inappropriate and rude.
Freakin’ Debbie Downers. I’m over it. I’m over and done with your feeling the need to pull others into your black hole of blame and self-anger. You are being selfish and disrespectful of people’s intentions to have good experiences in life. You are putting bad energy in the universe, and it’s not acceptable that you continue to do it every day to someone new.
To my true friends (you know who you are)… I love hearing your honest rants about everything, and I am so grateful that you listen to mine. Cheers to you.
This post is dedicated to everyone that has dealt with too many Debbie Downers the past few months. Dig down deep and tell them what you really think, and don’t let them take your good day (or even the semi-ok 10 minutes your might be experiencing) away from you. I vow to speak my mind about their crappy comments over the next year, and I encourage you to, as well. Enough is enough.