This is a beautiful drawing by Jumping Bean and myself. She asked me to draw a heart with her and her friend. I drew her friend (with longer straight hair) on the left. I then drew Jumping Bean next to her with some wavy hair.
My daughter promptly took the chalk out of my hand and corrected me. “No! I am going to have straight hair like Abby!!” She then re-drew the hair to make sure I got the point.
I laughed and took a little ego hit, because I have extremely curly hair (which I like, by the way).
I then thought, “Honestly, I don’t care if my kid wants straight hair and never likes curly hair.” Whatever.
That week, I also said “I don’t care” to the following things:
- The ridiculous outfit she chose to wear to picture day at school,
- The man that cut me off on the way to the store,
- The terribly annoying “songs” that were being screamed in the backseat of my car after a long day of work,
- At least 4 work emails that had some kind of hidden tone that could have easily set me off,
- A sink of horribly dirty dishes and a floor that was shamefully dirty. (I think even Lebowski would have complained if he had words.)
Why “I don’t care?” It sounds so lazy and heartless, right?
EVERY time we care about something, even just an itty-bitty bit, we are using valuable time, mental energy, and internal power by thinking about it. That means there is less of that awesome brain power for the things that really matter.
Don’t let those small things take away the amazing power you have inside that should be saved for the big stuff.
Ever noticed that when you are going through a REALLY tough time (work or personal), that you feel numb or apathetic to a good number of “problems” that people approach you with? It’s because you have to spend all of your energy on your stuff (or your healthy, work, family, etc).
You have NO space or energy to care about other people’s issues, so you don’t.
This self-preservation can work for us pro-actively as well.
If you are able to choose not to put any mental or emotional energy into something, you are also choosing to save that energy for something or someone else that really needs it… even if that person is you.
Lately, my biggest goal is to care less about the following things:
- How dirty my poor Lebowski gets while crawling in our own house,
- What Jumping Bean wears or how she wants her hair (not) done,
- The crappy drivers or people that cut me off,
- The number of meaningful art or crafty projects I do with my kids… since I don’t really do them.
I challenge you to start thinking about those things that just don’t really matter in your world right now. Or maybe they do matter a little bit, but worrying about them is just robbing you of valuable energy and power. Let them go, and stop caring so much.