As a coach, I often act as a voice of reason, encouraging cheerleader, or guiding beacon that alerts someone when she is on the wrong track.
But right now I’m lucky if I can help just one person each week with my limited reserves and shaky emotional state. I am NOT on my best game, and I think it’s absurd to think that any of us could be.
Each one of us is trying our best with our scattered brains and limited sanity… and the well intentioned guidance is overwhelming. Lately, when I read a post advising me on ideal schedules for my kids or a new self development course to grow my business, the heat begins to radiate up my neck to my face. That heat stems from feelings of deep anger and resentment.
DON’T try and tell me how much better I can be doing right now. Just DON’T.
Unsolicited advice is the opposite of what most of us need right now. Instead, I think we need more raw honesty and understanding.
We are ALL struggling in so many similar ways. Let’s expose our common, struggling beings to each other so that we can feel more normal.
So I’d like to expose myself with hopes that maybe you try to also be less hard on yourself right now. Here are many of the ways that I’ve been a less-than-ideal human over the last month:
- I’ve mapped out every single house project that I could start immediately, and then proceed to avoid every one.
- I’ve constantly questioned my value and ability as a mother.
- Poured my third glass of wine on a night I had promised to refrain from drinking.
- Lowered my workout expectations from “A full strength training class” to “For the love of God just do 5 exercises that involve some kind of movement.”
- Been more distracted and less focused than I have ever been since birthing a colicky newborn.
- Had to cancel a coaching meeting due to an unexpected crying stint that lasted 3 hours.
- Scheduled virtual meetings with friends that I forgot to show up for
- Yelled at my kids like a mom from the 1950’s.
And I could go on and on.
But I would be far from honest if I didn’t add all the things that I have also ‘learned’ during this last month. I have held on to a few small gems that are making me feel a bit more human and less of a failure.
Here are my lessons learned… so far:
- Do not wear eye makeup during quarantine. You will never be able to predict when the tears will come pouring out at the most random and least optimal moment.
- Lowered expectations of myself, my kids and my husband will be the only way we will come out of this alive.
- I cannot predict the good days and the bad days, no matter how hard I try.
- Workouts and dog walks = SANITY.
- If I don’t start day drinking by 3pm, it is a win.
- Homeschooling is not for me or my kids. I was pretty sure of that before, but now I’m SURE it’s not my specialty.
- Siblings can teach each other a lot about self defense when left alone for long periods.
- We are all doing the best we can and barely getting a passing grade… because we are ALL struggling and suffering and messing up over and over.
We are all struggling right now. Your struggle is real. You are a good person going through a difficult time.
It will not define you, but it might force you to learn unexpected things about yourself.
You are amazing and doing your best. I know this for sure.